Fun fact: 80% of human communication is non-verbal. Think of the attitude and physical expression that drives the chef’s kiss gesture. That gesture says so much more than the word delightful.

Words floating free of our bodies (i.e. on paper or screen) are slippery and easily misinterpreted. That’s why writing is so hard. That’s the core problem with texting, making it a terrible way to communicate effectively. Yet, not only has texting become ubiquitous, expecting an immediate reply has too. Any delay arouses impatience, anxiety, or worse. Ghosting—

I love jewelry. Who doesn’t? But I’m ambivalent about bedecking myself, as that draws attention. While that reticence is my natural inclination, it’s also been reinforced by my work as a therapist psychiatrist. When I was in training, I was taught the following.

You are in the relationship to be of service to the patient. The focus should always be on them, not you.

Dress neutrally, to visually emphasize that the relationship is professional, not personal. You are not dressing to enhance your attractiveness. You are dressing to emphasize your function.         

When my son was in fifth grade, he had a dark view of life in general and of school in particular: “The principal is Pharoah and us kids are the slaves.”

“What about the teachers?”

“They’re the ones with the whips.”

What a metaphor. I felt bad for him.

Twenty-five-year-old Patrick’s beloved brother Tom dies and he finds himself unable to return to the hustle of his cubicle job at The New Yorker magazine. A long-time lover of art and art museums, he visits the Met and finds there a timeless stillness and beauty that is the antithesis of the thrusting, questing energy characteristic of New York City. Thus begins the story of the ten years he works at the Met as a guard, learning who he is without his brother in company with some of the greatest world art of all time and an international, multi-ethnic crew of guards from all walks of life. This is a workplace memoir taking us into the back of the shop, which is fascinating alone. But there is so much more.