For Debbie: This is her fault.

Want balanced advice from ShrinkU? Too bad. You get lame jokes only.

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Dear ShrinkU, I woke up blue this morning. What should I do? Yours bluely

Dear Blue, Shower.

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Dear ShrinkU, I’m always right and yet, a colleague calls me "The Claw.” What’s wrong with him? Wronged

Dear Wrong Question, Consult a vet. Declawing is affordable.

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Dear ShrinkU, This North Country weather makes me crazy. Cold yesterday, warm today. What next? South of the Border

Dear SOB, The weatherman says: Hot tamale.

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Dear ShrinkU, Every time I have a guest over, my poodle humps her Pooh bear. I’m so embarrassed. How do I stop them? Blushing

Dear Blush, Tell them to take it to the bedroom. Unless that’s where you’re entertaining.

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Dear ShrinkU, What do belly dancers and roller derby dames have in common? Richard

Dear Dick, Estrogen. You’re welcome.

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Dear ShrinkU, I used to be round-shouldered and organized. Exercise straightened the slump, but now I'm all discombobulated. What the—?

Dear What The, You’re bent out of shape.

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Dear ShrinkU, Here’s a toughie for you. I’ve lost 200 pounds. How did I do it? Weight Of World Off

Dear WOW, Easy. You got a divorce.

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Admit it, you want to know how low we'll go. Send us a Dear ShrinkU via the Comment link below. When the groaners pile up like a multi-car crash, we’ll post them.

ShrinkU: Visit our campus in Wry, corner of Ham and Cheese.