May is National Mental Health Awareness Month
It’s National Mental Health Awareness month? How ironic. Two months in to this pandemic, I’m well aware—no, hyper aware that most people’s mental health, including my own, is under siege. It’s impossible to ignore. There is just too much uncertainty. And too many feelings to deal with, from bowel-churning terror to metal-melting rage and everything in between. But now that I think about it, that’s proof I’m well and healthy, and so are you, if you’re swinging the same. How could it be any other way? These are simply psycho-logical responses to an increasingly psycho reality.
When the president advises people to drink bleach and inject Lysol to kill the virus, that’s insane. When a posse of heavily armed, white guys storm the Michigan State Capital and aren’t arrested, that’s crazy. When the federal government allows states to open their beaches, concert venues and non-essential businesses despite expert medical opinion stating it’s not safe, you have to ask yourself: are they okay with massive numbers of people dying? In fact, they’ve actually said yes, they are. Beyond insane. There’s more, way more, but you get the point. Which is this: we, the people, are being abused by our national leaders and this is traumatic.
Nature gives us two ways to deal with danger: fight or flee. When neither is an option, we’re trapped and we freeze and shut down. When the experience(s) is(are) both terrifying and inescapable, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) results.
When the sky keeps falling in crushing chunks on your head, week after week with no end in sight, wishing it would stop isn’t going to work as a coping strategy. But you know that. Your poor body simply can’t tolerate round-the-clock despair, agitation and panic, so one of two things happens if you stay there too long. Either you break down and stay in bed with the covers over your head—not great for you and definitely a win for the bad guys. Or you move on to something less debilitating, like say, apathy. Kidding. You rally. You have to. Here’s a fact from the PTSD research that you can use to help yourself during this extremely unsettling time: taking action binds anxiety, and unlike booze or benzos, the benefit is robust and enduring. But, you’re probably asking, what kind of action, and where?
Love and work are what give our lives meaning and purpose. Love and work are where you need to take action on your own behalf. Social distancing protects us from the virus but it’s made maintaining a nourishing connection to others—the core of love and work—a huge challenge, especially if you live alone or crowded, don’t have a phone or internet access, and suffer mental and/or physical illness. To stay sane, it’s essential to stay connected to the people you love. It’s equally important to have a purpose.
There’s no one way to do this. We each have to figure out the solution to our situation. Always start with your body. It’s the foundation upon which you build your mental health. Sleep, eat healthy food, and exercise. I know all those drinking jokes making the rounds are funny, ha ha, but don’t. Alcohol damages your brain. Your mind works better if you’re not poisoning your brain. I know, I’m such a buzz kill.
There are so many ways to stay in touch (perfect turn of phrase, don’t you think?) with our loved ones who don’t live with us. Video chats, phone calls, emails, handwritten letters snail-mailed: they all work. If you live with them, staying connected involves not killing anyone.
Generating a sense of purpose when your life feels like it’s on hold requires more effort. For those of you working from home with kids quarantined from school, remember: less is more. If you don’t do everything for them that you “should,” they’ll be okay. Really. For those of you with too much time on your hands and too much yuk in your heads, volunteering to help others, in safe ways, is loving, purposeful and—what a perk!—distracts you from you. Make art. Make music. Make things. Any activity, no matter how small, that returns you to that focused place where you lose track of time is worth doing and a balm to the spirit.
For a few weeks, I painted rocks and placed them around town in crooks of trees, building nooks and crannies, and the like. They all disappeared. It’s nice to imagine that each one was found by the person who took it home just when she or he needed it most. Stay safe, my friends. Stay sane. Do what it takes. The world needs you.