Book Review: Real Women Do It Standing Up by Leighann Lord

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The outstanding Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop (EBWW), famous for its humor; fantastic presenters, workshops and participants; souvenir wine glass etched with Erma in flowing script (presumably hers); and sweets, was supposed to happen this past Thursday 4/2 through Saturday 4/4/2020.  But, like most everything else lately, it was appropriately cancelled for everyone’s safety and to speed the flattening of the COVID-19 curve.  Being a mature medical professional, I took it in stride and pouted.

But then it came to me. I have Ermazon authors’ books on my home library shelves! I won’t say I didn’t miss seeing my funny Ermazon friends and mingling with friendly speakers. Of course I did. But rereading Real Women Do It Standing Up took me straight to Dayton for the weekend. It tickled my funny bone, provoked subversive thoughts and rekindled gratitude for truth and beauty, kindness and cake.

After listening, riveted, to Leighann Lord give the Saturday dinner keynote at EBWW 2016, I grabbed one of the last copies of this incredible book off the table sagging with presenters’ books. Of course, I asked her to autograph it but otherwise was too stricken with amazement to speak another word. I inhaled it immediately upon arriving home. It was hilarious. What a relief to find out that I’m not the only one struck dumb in the presence of writerly magnificence (“My Maya”). She would have returned to EBWW as a presenter this past weekend, and I was totally looking forward to whatever she offered up. It was a solace to reread these stories and let me tell you, I laughed. Again. Lord knows (pun intended) I needed those laughs. And they would have been more than enough—Dayenu! (It’s Passover.)

But the book gave me so much more. What could be more interesting than keeping company with a professional comedian as she works? Or funnier? (“I Have a Tattoo on my Vagina, Wanna See?”) She had me though, with her astute observations and unpredictable conclusions on various insidious issues. The woman is deep.

Like, say, racism. From “The Black Comic Perspective:” I was asked to write an article about my experiences in the entertainment business as a Black comic. While flattered by the request, I’m not entirely sure I’m qualified to share my thoughts on the subject. Yes, I’m Black, I’m a comic and I’ve been in business for a while, but it’s not that simple. It never is.

And sexism. From: “So, About the Letterman Thing:” It’s been an eventful time for women in comedy. The New York Times broke the story that female comedians are not booked to perform on the Letterman Show in equal numbers to their male counterparts. You don’t say. Women in comedy not being treated fairly? Well gosh darn it stop the presses. This is not news to anyone with a vagina, but hats off to the New York Times for being in the vanguard of non-current events. [The word vagina is grossly overrepresented in this post. It shows up only twice in the book’s 279 pages. Relax.]

And why boys can pee standing up but girls can’t.  From: “Peeing Standing Up:” Of particular vexation to my young sense and sensibility was the classroom’s communal bathroom, which featured two stalls with no doors. Egads, people! No doors! I guess they figured four year olds had no right to privacy. Everyone could see what everyone else was doing and over time I couldn’t help but notice that the boys sometimes went to the bathroom standing up. I’d never seen that before because in my house our bathroom had a door and we used it. Nonetheless I was intrigued. How great would it be if I could go the bathroom with my pants up and my back to the door?  Quoting further would be a spoiler.

Really, she is brilliant. And the writing! So delicious, pithy, and witty. Good things—like, EBWW 2020 rescheduled for the Halloween weekend with Leighann Lord live—come to those who wait. But a book? It’s always right there and this one’s a gem.