For Debbie: This is her fault.

Want balanced advice from ShrinkU?  Too bad. You get lame jokes only. 

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Dear ShrinkU, I woke up blue this morning. What should I do? Yours bluely

Dear Blue,  Shower. 

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Dear ShrinkU,  I’m always right and yet, a colleague calls me "The Claw.” What’s wrong with him? Wronged 

Dear Wrong Question,  Consult a vet. Declawing is affordable.   

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Dear ShrinkU,  This North Country weather makes me crazy. Cold yesterday, warm today. What next? South of the Border

Dear SOB, The weatherman says: Hot tamale.

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Dear ShrinkU,  Every time I have a guest over, my poodle humps her Pooh bear. I’m so embarrassed. How do I stop them?  Blushing

Dear Blush,  Tell them to take it to the bedroom. Unless that’s where you’re entertaining. 

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Dear ShrinkU,  What do belly dancers and roller derby dames have in common? Richard 

Dear Dick,  Estrogen. You’re welcome. 

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Dear ShrinkU,  I used to be round-shouldered and organized. Exercise straightened the slump, but now I'm all discombobulated. What the—?

Dear What The,  You’re bent out of shape. 

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Dear ShrinkU,  Here’s a toughie for you. I’ve lost 200 pounds. How did I do it? Weight Of World Off

Dear WOW,  Easy. You got a divorce. 

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Admit it, you want to know how low we'll go. Send us a Dear ShrinkU via the Comment link below. When the groaners pile up like a multi-car crash, we’ll post them. 

ShrinkU:  Visit our campus in Wry, corner of Ham and Cheese.